THE ASANOR ENDOWMENT FUND FEBRUARY 2007 REPORT
The Remake of the Perfectly Fabulous Film: Asanoria, Humphrey, and the Splendid ASANOR Endowment Fund
Our action begins with the filming of this torrid scene:
Asanoria: “Humphrey, oh, Humphrey. Will it always be like this?
The heights we have reached?”
Humphrey: “My sweetest love (‘with such a dumbo name! Asanoria! Geez!’
and this mumbled sotto voce), that can never be again.
The laws of finance and physiology insist that there must be a reduction in stature. Enjoy this precious moment while you can, yet have faith in our future."
“Cut, cut, cut,” shouts the director of the 2007 remake, Don Lockwood.. “I know that was the 2005 dialogue at kr. 875,276, but it was bad then and it is horrible now. Plus it was wrong. Right, Cosmo Brown?”
“Check, boss, horrible. Let’s take it from the top with the new dialogue, and while you do that, I think I’ll bounce off three walls.”
“Places, everyone!” commands Lockwood. “Keep this in mind as you interpret your roles. You are millionaires in this remake, and even though that old buckeroo is down to 6.15 from the usual 6.44 we’ve grown to love, you still gained NOK 46,030 since the first of November, 2006.”
“Oh, neatsy-pooh,” exclaims Kathy Seldon. “Is that real money? And, actually, what is money exactly?”
“It’s what we increased by 4.1% in 16 weeks, Kathy, but if you want to count awards, make that 6.1% (these little balls % indicate per cent, Kathy), but, er, ah, yes, Cosmo?”
“Are you saying that 87 recipients have received NOK 122,193 and still the money continues to grow?”
“Dat ain’t right,” nasally interjects our favorite, Lina Lamont, who famously said, “I make more money than Calvin Coolidge. Put together.”
“So true, Lina,” soothed Don Lockwood. “If you, I, Cosmo, and Kathy really existed, we could protest. But we can’t because we’re just characters in Singin’ in the Rain who inexplicably got stuck in this remake. So there are only two realities:
Asanoria and Humphrey’s inspiring and continuing love story, and
The ASANOR Endowment Fund on February 24 2007 at NOK 1,051,075.
With grants, NOK 1,173,268 since May, 1993.